Take advantage of every photo op!
Like many people, I LOVE weddings. Plus, from what I’ve seen on TV and YouTube, Indian weddings seem to be unmatched! The colors, the music, the food, the traditions…need I go on? So, of course I jumped at the chance to go to one! July 2020 was my moment to finally experience it all.
My good friend, Mr. India (that’s what I call him on the www), invited me. I was more excited than a kid on the first day of school! Especially when I found out that the wedding would last over a few days!
You’ve probably read all about Indian weddings but are curious about what to expect when going to one in 2020 since uh…since pandemic weddings seem like they might be with us for a lil’ bit. I wanted to share what my experience was like and share tips.
What to do
- Read up on weddings from the part of India that the couple is from. India is a diverse country of over 1 billion people! The culture and traditions vary throughout the country. I attended a South Indian wedding and the bride told me to Google “Marathi wedding“and that helped immensely. So sis, don’t watch a video on YouTube from a North Indian wedding and then feel like you’re an expert. That brings me to my next point..
- Be “down fa the get down” as my friend D.A. Johnson would say. Listen, be open to the experience – all of it! Try new food, try out the dances, wear traditional clothing, and plan to ask a lot of questions (be curious!). Of course you don’t wanna seem like that weird person who came to the festivities so that you could do a sociological/anthropological documentary on Indian weddings during the pandemic.
- Make friends real fast because you’ll enjoy everything more when you have someone who’s willing to answer your questions about how spicy this dish is or which dessert you should try first or about the significance of a certain ritual. Since the wedding will likely only have about 15 people, you’ll want to be as charming and as interesting as possible. Be genuine! You don’t know when that fabulous girl you spent 40 minutes speaking with the first night of the wedding will have to meet you in the corner to help you adjust your saree (this may or may not have happened to me…).
- Bring money in an odd numbered amount (e.g. $43…$101). It’s apparently a tradition!
What to expect
1. Chile, expect more outfit changes than a Beyonce concert…but listen, I loved every second! And if you have the opportunity to wear a saree, girl do it! I went to a store here in Columbus that is literally called Asian Clothing & Accessories. They took care of me, ok?! They helped me pick a saree and then took my measurements and altered it all in the same day.
2. Tons of good food. I actually LOVE Indian food and I was excited to try authentic food and a variety unlike any entrees I’ve ordered from my favorite Indian restaurants. And they sent each guest home with a box of desserts. Honey, the Badam Burfi I had was impeccable! I’m going to have to try to find that in the local Indian grocery store.
3. An all out party and music that might confuse your brain. Here me out: I’m down for a celebration. I mean: HERE *clap* FOR *clap* IT *clap*. However, when I arrived at the first night of festivities around 6:30 pm, dinner was served at midnight, and then at 2:30 am, the bride was ready to turn up the music and party like it was 1999…by then I was like, “I’m too old for this” LOL.
Mr. India was like, “Dance! You can dance! I’m from North India and I don’t know these dances but just dance like you’re crazy”.
I told him on the way back to my Airbnb…
Me: “You said, ‘Dance like you’re crazy; that’s how you dance to South Indian music.’ See, my brain heard that and sent a message to my arms and my feet like, ‘Nah, we ain fitna do that.’ Soooo…you got what you got. I was tryna get my body to cooperate and it wasn’t havin it and what you saw was my body in a state of confusion.
Mr. India: “But you were supposed to be representing black people. It wasn’t good representation.”
Me: “You got what you got.”
Clarisma Jones is more entertainer than dancer and I couldn’t seem to get my two-step together so…hahaha.
4. Many traditions and colors. The decorations, clothing, and rituals were so rich and delightful to learn about and take in. I wanted to capture all of it on my phone but didn’t wanna look like an anthropologist…so…
5. Follow other people’s lead on photos and videos. I read this in another article about Indian weddings and it helped me a lot. When I saw other people taking photos and selfies, I’d jump right in. This way, I didn’t have my phone out during an important religious ritual where it would have been rude. When people encouraged me to take photos or even offered to take photos for me, I knew I was #winning.
6. Something will probably go wrong. Especially with technology. With social distancing and international travel restrictions, many attendees will probably watch the wedding on Zoom or another video platform. There will most likely be technical difficulties. Just roll with it and be patient. If you’re a guest, stay outta the way and only offer to help if you really know what you’re doing. It’s a stressful time for everyone (it’s a wedding for goodness’ sake!) and the bride and groom will want to work out the difficulties as quickly as possible.
7. Things to change quickly: so be patient and flexible. There might not even be an official schedule and things probably won’t start on time. See, I grew up in a small black church and have been to plenty of functions with black people where things didn’t start on time. This was different though because I didn’t know the culture. Again, just roll with it. Remember you’re there for the experience and to celebrate the happy couple. Andddd…it’s not your wedding! So get over it. I even ended up helping with decorations because things were running behind. Um…don’t tell the bride but that was my first time cutting flower stems and arranging bouquets but it worked out!
I really enjoyed my time and hope your experience is fabulous! Be sure to wear your mask! Comment below and let me know how things go!